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My suspicions were confirmed when they asked me later with hopeful (as in, not worried) eyes if I could be pregnant. And then I met a guy at a friend's birthday party in Brooklyn.In 1972, Gloria Steinem said, "We're just talking wombs," a quote that I had always thought was hyperbolic. I gave up online dating, the lure of which was that you could put out there what you really wanted—or didn't want—and you could find a match on at least your most basic values (like not wanting children). Handsome in just the way I find men attractive—tall, slim, brilliant, and incredibly sensitive—he was, even on our first date, too good to be true.
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But just like a formulaic movie plot, they all wanted kids. Age had something do with it: I was in my early 30s. And I would very nicely tell them they were dating the wrong woman, extricate myself, and move on. Two different, otherwise wonderful, handsome, and brilliant men said they "understood" after I opened up about my fears.
These men were in their mid-to-late 30s and early 40s. And then they each promptly sabotaged the birth control that I was very strict about.
They put my health and theirs at risk—attempting to impregnate me against my will, purposefully.